Emotional Distress & Raising Your New Baby—How to Properly Perform Emotional Transfer for Infants Born by Surrogacy
Hello, Intended parents and surrogate mothers searching for a surrogate agency in Sacramento, or surrogate agency in California.
We want to discuss today some issues that may arise with the arrival of your new child through surrogacy- and speak about issues that you may want to address before going through your surrogacy.
We are committed to helping you discover how to parent your new child had through surrogacy and we love to help resolve issues you may not know existed—to provide the healthiest environment for your new child!
This article will also cover warning signs in your new toddler that they may be experiencing emotional distress, and how to spot these symptoms.
Individuals and couples who have unresolved emotional trauma due to various reasons are urged to face these issues and seek help in resolving them before having a child by way of a surrogate mother. The emotional distress regarding infertility can impact future parenting that intended parents must do when they bring their new baby home following a surrogate birth.
Sometimes married or committed couples split up, and some couples have experienced the emotional trauma of a split family situation before and are still dealing with the strong emotions and mental distress even when planning to find a surrogate to carry a child for them.
The Impact Emotional Trauma Can Have on Toddlers and Even Babies
Many people wrongly assume that anything fearful or traumatic that happens to a very young child or baby won’t be remembered and therefore parents shouldn’t worry about any lasting emotional stress that often occurs following traumatic events.
The truth is, that even babies as young as newborns can experience emotional trauma from something catastrophic like a bad accident, a destructive hurricane, the sudden absence or death of a family member and other traumatic events. Parents should seek professional help if they begin to notice ongoing adverse effects and behaviors in their child or baby.
Warning Signs of Emotional Distress in a Baby or Toddler
Like adults, babies and young children can experience the same reactions to extreme distress and traumatic events. If there is some disruption in their usual routines, babies often become upset and fearful not knowing what is coming next.
When faced with a strong life-threatening event such as extreme pain from a fall injury, involvement in an automobile accident, experiencing a house fire or other event that leaves them alone or afraid can all cause severe anxiety and other strong emotions.
Parents should be aware of the following reactive behaviors:
- Suddenly becomes extremely agitated when separated from a parent or main caregiver
- A blank stare or watchful look that seems overly fearful or frozen
- Seems disoriented or lacks interest in surroundings
- Often stops playing, making happy noises or stops engagement gestures
- Tends to avoid eye contact
- Shows regression of learned developmental feats
- May stop eating or decline food/bottle amounts
- Takes much longer to get calm when upset
- May develop nervous tics or other adverse behaviors like head banging or hitting oneself
How a Parent or Caregiver’s Emotional Trauma Can Also Affect Kids
It is important for parents to understand that infants and toddlers are often affected by any type of emotional trauma or behaviors that the parents or an important family member could be dealing with.
Babies are highly sensitive to changes in their parents’ behaviors and can sense overwhelming type feelings such as anger, fear, sadness and even a sudden detachment of feelings and interactions.
This is why it is essential that intended parents honestly face, confront and deal with any type of negative emotional trauma from their past before even going through the process of attempting to find a surrogate.
Possible Effects of Bringing a Baby Into a Split Family Environment
For some of us, our perfect family may not have turned out as we expected.
Divorce and emotional issues or even issues of dealing with infertility may cause families to split or be close to it. If you are an intended parent with a split family- there’s nothing wrong with it! But noticing and dealing with any family issues that may have come along with this, will be very important to deal with when your new baby comes into the family.
It is crucial for intended parents to consider the possible effects that bringing a new baby into a split family environment can cause.
It is important for everyone involved to be honest with themselves regarding how they truly feel about and interact with family members that they may have harbored intense feelings of anger, fear, distrust and other strong emotions in the past towards.
Then it is necessary to develop coping strategies and family parenting plans that seek the best interest of any children involved at all times first. Coming from a broken or split type of family does not in itself exclude people from moving on and being terrific and caring parents to their own children one day.
Special Baby/Parent Bonding Issues Intended Parents & Surrogates Face
Perhaps you have chosen to become parents by the selfless and compassionate gift of a surrogate mother. This is a wonderful option for many, and it creates some special circumstances with regards to this natural parental and baby bonding process that everyone involved should take note of.
Some child experts believe that surrogates can begin this process even if they are not in direct contact with their baby’s intended parents yet. The baby will still form some bonding while the surrogate carries the babe in her womb for nine months.
If agreed upon, intended parents can even record their voices either reading or singing to their baby that the surrogate can play in the later months of pregnancy when hearing is thought to finish developing.
Some intended parents and their baby’s surrogate mother agree to allow the intended parents to be at certain prenatal medical visits. This can help to allow the intended parents to begin the process of preparing themselves for parenting through such actions. If the parties live too far apart, it is often recommended that the intended parents join in by video conference or another internet platform.
Other ideas to help the intended parents unable to conceive a child due to infertility experience that natural pre-birth preparation for having a child via surrogacy in California or other surrogate-friendly states include the following:
- Decorate the baby nursery
- Have a baby shower
- Plan on using a transfer teddy bear or other objects
- Make a playlist of favorite music, read stories or record family voices
- Allow for an emotional transfer at birth
How to Properly Perform Emotional Transfer for Infants Born by Surrogacy
It is important for all involved to understand that an abrupt disruption could greatly affect the newborn if the needs of the infant aren’t met during this crucial bonding time. Even babies born by a surrogate will naturally bond with their surrogate mom, and attempts for a gentler transfer can help lessen the emotional impact on the baby.
It is recommended that the intended parents be present at or soon after birth as possible to initiate this emotional transfer. Some child experts recommend that the surrogate still initiate some skin-to-skin contact directly after birth even if she simply touches the baby’s feet or hands. This helps to assure the baby that all is right in his/her new world.
Many intended parents give their surrogate a stuffed teddy bear that will pick up the surrogate’s scent that newborn babies are able to detect. At birth, the intended parents are given the bear back. The familiar scent comforts their baby.
Intended parents can get valuable information on this essential emotional transfer. Prepare for this journey by contacting our surrogate agency that provides assistance with surrogacy in California.
If you are looking for a surrogate or are in the process of finding a surrogate and need help—please contact our surrogate agency here.