How to Connect with Your Baby during Surrogacy
One concern that many intended parents have with the surrogacy process is how to connect with your baby during surrogacy. There’s a lot of talk about speaking to the baby and the baby being able to recognize your voice. There’s also the general feeling of closeness that a mother experiences when carrying her baby. It’s understandable that you may be worried that you won’t be able to bond or connect with your baby because you’re not the one carrying it.
However, there are ways that you can remain connected with your baby throughout the process of surrogacy in Florida. Here’s how you can connect to your baby while it’s being carried by a surrogate.
1. Support Your Surrogate from the Start
If you want to be able to receive regular updates about your baby without feeling as though you’re intruding on your surrogate’s life, then you need to make them feel supported and involved from the start. This extends even before IVF. After you join our surrogate agency in California or wherever you happen to be we’ll help you find a surrogate.
One of the conditions that you should put in your application is that you want the surrogate to give you regular updates on the baby. Perhaps that they’re even open to being visited by you. You may even want to find a surrogate in California that lives close to you.
While it can be difficult to find such a surrogate, it’s possible if you don’t mind waiting.
At the very least, your surrogate should be made aware from the start that you want to be involved in the pregnancy. Along with that knowledge, you should also support them by being there for their IVF procedures if possible. You can reach out to them and ask how they are. You can even give them gifts as tokens of appreciation and friendship. We have had many parents offer to cover meals for their surrogates or even provide an extra monthly compensation for the surrogate’s groceries.
When your surrogate feels supported by you, they’re more likely to have a healthy pregnancy and a great experience.
2. Ask for Ultrasound Pictures
One of the most exciting parts of a healthy pregnancy is being able to see ultrasound pictures of the baby. This is your first glimpse of what your baby will look like. While you may not be able to travel to the visit, you can still ask your surrogate to send you pictures of the ultrasound or facetime you while the ultrasound is being performed.
With your own eyes, you can see the development of your baby. It’s a good idea to keep those photos. You may even want to stick them in a scrapbook that’s dedicated to your journey. Having a visual reminder that your baby is healthy and growing can alleviate many of your concerns and help you feel connected to the baby and the process.
3. Set Up the Nursery
While you may find after searching “surrogacy near me” that it can take some time to be assigned a surrogate and begin the process, you shouldn’t start on the nursery until after the pregnancy is confirmed. We know that you’re likely eager to prepare a room for the baby after struggling so many years with your own infertility.
Yet waiting to do the nursery until your surrogate starts to carry your baby is a better idea. Throughout the months while the baby grows, you can feel connected to it by preparing its nursery. You can choose colors for their room, set up the crib, and buy toys and outfits.
4. Throw a Baby Shower
Even though you’re not carrying the baby yourself, you’re still going to be a mother. Intended parents should still hold a baby shower even if the baby is growing in their surrogate. Once you learn the gender of the baby, you might even want to combine it with a gender reveal party.
Throwing a baby shower allows you to celebrate the milestones that you and your partner have faced. It’s a triumph over infertility.
When your friends and family gather to celebrate your baby, you can feel just that much closer and connected to it. The party makes it real.
5. Visit Your Surrogate
If your surrogate is open to it, then you may want to visit her. So many local surrogates are THRILLED to have parents connect with them for lunch or dinner.
Yet it’s possible that they may be sweet-talked into allowing a visit. This is a great opportunity to connect with your baby during surrogacy. Go and see the healthy pregnancy for yourself. You’ll be able to actually touch her growing belly and feel your baby move. Many surrogates love connecting with their IPs while pregnant, it makes it real and helps them feel cared for.
This is one of the most exciting and rewarding ways to connect with your baby. It’s also a great opportunity to get to know your surrogate mother better. While our surrogate agency always works hard to match our surrogates with parents who fit them the best, a lot of the work comes from you and the surrogate. Talking to one another, discovering shared hobbies and interests, and spending time with one another can create a healthy and friendly atmosphere between you.
You may even find that your surrogate could become a lasting friend for your family.
6. Talk About the Baby
An easy way to feel connected to your baby is simply talking about it. You may feel that you don’t get the right to talk about your baby because you’re not growing it or because it’s so far from you. This isn’t the case. You don’t have to worry about jinxing a healthy pregnancy just because you’re talking about the baby.
Tell your family and friends about the baby. The best way to connect with your baby during surrogacy is to be open about it. Use social media to give updates about your baby. Explain to your coworkers about your baby. The more opportunities you have to talk about your baby, the more real it will feel to you and the more connected you will be.
7. Record Yourself Reading Books to Your Baby
Many new parents love to read to their baby while it’s growing. You can still do this. Simply record yourself reading a book to the baby. Then you can send that recording to the surrogate for them to play for the baby. Babies can hear you! While it may not be the same as reading to them in-person, this method ensures that your baby knows your voice and is comforted by the tales you tell.
It can also become a comforting ritual for you as well. It’s an opportunity to think about your baby and do something pro-active for them.
Start Your Journey Towards Having a Baby Today
Using a surrogate mother can be a safe and effective way to have your baby. Even though your baby may be miles away, you can still feel connected to it by utilizing the methods above. To get started with your surrogate journey, have your questions ready for us. Our surrogate agency will work hard to find you a surrogate as soon as possible.
To apply with our agency, make sure you fill out this form and prepare for your baby.
