Start a Family With These 5 Steps to Hiring a Surrogate
Hello Intended parents or parent hopefuls! If you have reached this blog it’s probably because you have been looking for a surrogate for a while, or perhaps you are new to the process of finding a surrogate.
At Made in the USA Surrogacy, we want to be the resource for all of your surrogacy related questions and inquiries of finding a surrogate.
We know the process of fertility treatments and the emotional stress of infertility can cause enough anxiety for your family – let alone now having to find a surrogate in California to have the baby for you. We want you to know you’ve come to the right place – let’s dive into 5 steps to hiring a surrogate!
#1 – Find a Competent Surrogacy Agency and Hire Them
Part of the stress of trying to find a surrogate is the choice involved. There are many fertility clinics, there are many surrogate agencies, there are some people who believe in independent surrogacy. What road do you choose?
At Made in the USA Surrogacy, we strongly recommend the use of a surrogate agency but not only because we are in the business, but because the process of surrogacy is an intensely long, detailed and complicated process. Here is a blog on why working with a boutique surrogacy agency could save you money and ultimately be a great decision for you.
You don’t do your own legal work, and you aren’t your own insurance agent – so why would you handle your own surrogacy? Most parents are not equipped to know the “ins-and-outs” of the surrogacy process, let alone what they should be looking for in a surrogate. Here is some more information about hiring a surrogate agency.
Basically, the first step in finding a surrogate is to find a competent surrogacy agency preferably based in California that is marketing for surrogate mothers daily. We know the process of surrogacy in and out and not only will we manage you as parents through the entire process, but we will also manage your surrogate to make sure everyone has a uniquely wonderful birth experience!
#2 – Detail Your Wants and Needs for a Surrogate Clearly and Openly
The first part in the process of looking for a surrogate is to define what and who you are looking for.
Answering the following questions will be helpful for you in this process:
- Are you OK with hiring a first-time surrogate?
- Are you OK with hiring an out-of-state surrogate?
- Are you OK with hiring a surrogate who does not have surrogate friendly insurance?
- Are you OK with hiring a surrogate that may be a little overweight?
- Are you OK with hiring a surrogate who has a different value system than you- or religious beliefs?
- Do you want a surrogate to transfer multiple embryos or just one?
- How involved will you want to be with your surrogate?
- Are you OK with a surrogate who may not value a lot of communication?
- Are you OK with a surrogate who eats meat?
- Will you want your surrogate to pump breastmilk for the baby after the birth?
- What are your thoughts on invasive procedures such as amniocentesis?
- Do you have a preference on the birthing location (hospital/birthing center/home birth)?
Answer simple questions such as this before you start your process with a surrogate agency in California. It will help you be more prepared and ready for a surrogate candidate that comes along. Just keep in mind- the more “wants/must-haves” that you desire for your surrogate will ultimately impact the timeline in which you receive a great candidate.
You may not get everything you initially thought you wanted in a surrogate. But keep in mind, the process of finding a surrogate and using the surrogacy process is to have a child.
#3 – Establish Your Budget Before Searching for a Surrogate
We have explained a lot in our blogs about the cost of hiring a surrogate. Most likely the cost of hiring a surrogate mother will exceed $100,000 depending on multiple factors. Will your budget include IVF costs for the doctors? When you hire our agency we work with the doctors but your surrogacy budget will have to be a separate figure from the amounts you spend on IVF care and embryo donation or storage.
Having a budget in mind will help your surrogate agency such as ours to put a figure on how much you would like to spend on the surrogate journey, and how much money you may already have set aside for the journey. Having a number in mind that you’d like to stick to will help us narrow down a certain type of surrogate mother for you and helps us look into whether a certain surrogate candidate will be a good match depending on your budgetary wants and needs. See our blog on how much does a surrogate cost.
#4 – Be Open to the Possibilities
Perhaps one of the most important parts of the surrogate process for parents who want a baby, by way of surrogacy, is to remain open to the possibilities.
Even though there are decisions you will have to make on your wants/needs for a surrogate mother as we discussed in #2, the possibilities are endless for surrogate mother prospects that may come our way.
We may have a lot of surrogate prospects from out of state – which will cost you money for her travel and for yours to the birth, but does this prospect have surrogate friendly insurance? There may be tradeoffs to each surrogate prospect that will help you decide on the best choice of candidate.
As your premier surrogate agency in California – Made in the USA Surrogacy prides itself on matching prospective parents 1 on 1. We take a look at the entire picture, and even if they don’t meet all of your wants, they may just fit the budget. It’s our job to match you with the best possible surrogate candidate. We ask you to understand that it’s your job to trust your surrogate agency with the process of surrogacy, and to be open to the possibilities – we are here for you and will guide you along the way.
#5 – Calm Your Fears and Connect With Surrogate Prospects
By now, we couldn’t tell you how many intended parents who get shown a surrogate prospect and almost crash the deal entirely due to their fear of the process.
They worry about her insurance plan. They worry about a slight issue she may have had in the past that is not relevant to her pregnancy history. They worry about her budget (estimated budget we provide). They worry about her location. They worry about whether she’ll like them. They worry about whether they have to have a surrogate candidate from California.
The truth is that parents worry too much!
There’s a reason you hired a surrogate agency. You hired us to find you a wonderful surrogate mother prospect.
Chances are – we have found you one, but you have to remember #4: Be open to the possibilities. Calm your fears and let us introduce her to you. You really never know as a parent whether you will connect or whether the person we suggest will not really mesh with you. We do the best we can to ensure a surrogate “match” the first time. But it’s up to you as the parent to calm your fears, hear us out, get through the meeting process – and keep a positive attitude!
Surrogate moms are people too.
They have fears about the process as well. It’s best to wait and hold back on any questions about a surrogate prospect until you have met her- and you can decide on a face to face meeting whether she is the best candidate for you.
Surrogate profiles are one thing (the surrogate on paper). Meeting her in person will take a significant weight off of your shoulders. We find most parents end up really liking the person we have suggested when they have finally decided to connect on a personal and deeper emotional level together.
When you meet your surrogate prospect for the first time – make sure to ask these questions as well and avoid complicated topics. Keep the conversation light, bright, and full of positive attitudes.
If you would like to hire a surrogate today, find a surrogate mother, or have questions about how to get a surrogate mother – we are the agency you want to call! We have surrogates in California and from all over waiting to find a family to match with. Please fill in our form today – and call us to make sure we received your inquiry.