Intended Parents: 5 Reasons To Consider an Older Surrogate
Surrogate’s age: Does it really matter?
Hello intended parents!
We are so happy that you have reached our blog with many answers to your surrogacy questions and concerns.
Please look further into the content and find there are many questions that are answered that you may have and that we receive from parents every day who are looking to have a child through surrogacy.
Today we are going to discuss requirements that you may have as a parent for your future surrogate mother.
We receive phone calls and emails from parents every day who have come up with a “list” of wants/must have for their future surrogate – although they may not have had the benefit of a surrogate agency and our thoughts on these topics. One of the major requirements we seem to receive from parents is an age requirement below the age of 30.
If you are a parent who wants to find a surrogate but have developed an extensive list of must-haves you may have an age in mind you would like your surrogate mother to be- or an age you’d like her to be “under”. While we understand the preference of age criteria- we want to reassure you the reasons why you should reconsider women in their later 30s or older than 30. It may not be as detrimental as you may think to the pregnancy process overall and it will most definitely hinder your timeline to find a good surrogate and have a child to accomplish your goals.
Here at Made in the USA Surrogacy, we have seen intended parents come to us after several failed matches, hoping we may have that next candidate that will be right for them, but they still require a specific age.
According to the asrm.org, the ideal age for a surrogate falls between the ages of 21 and 45 who have had a successful pregnancy. If we are to consider age as a concern, the asrm.org has stated that advanced reproductive age is any woman over 45 years of age.
A woman considering to carry a pregnancy in her later reproductive years must be thoroughly assessed as to her physical fitness and many other factors. Although every agency and fertility clinic will have an age cut-off, it is important to remember that age in conjunction with physical fitness and health may be just a number.
At Made in the USA Surrogacy we accept surrogate applicants up to the age of 38 as long as she passes all the screening criteria. We do not accept candidates into their 40s, so parents should have no worries that a surrogate is in an advanced reproductive state even in her later 30s.
So, let’s talk about the reasons why you should consider a surrogate who may be in her mid-later thirties:
#1 – Maturity
A potential surrogate who is in her later thirties will have established maturity and is likely to be more stable than those who are in their young 20s.
This isn’t to say that girls in their twenties are not mature, but they may still be figuring out who they are, they may be still completing their own families, or they may not be fully committed to the process.
When you choose a surrogate who is established in her life (i.e. done having her own children, established in her career etc.) you find a different type of woman who will potentially be more committed to the process no matter what. We have seen several young women in their early 20s break their commitment to surrogacy for reason related to college or starting their own families which inevitably creates disappointment when a match breaks due to these reasons.
As a parent, if age is the only factor scaring you away from a great surrogate we encourage you to reconsider and trust in the professionals as they have your best interest and goals in mind.
#2 – Consider Her Suitable Lifestyle
When considering to use a surrogate who is older (the mid-late 30s), women in this age bracket will most likely have established a lifestyle that is suitable for pregnancy.
She may have older children and will not need to lift young toddlers.
In fact, she can ask her older children for help during the pregnancy process. She may be more established in her career and relationships and therefore may not have the financial stress of that of a woman in her young 20s. Women in their young 20s will most likely have young children and fresh careers and at this stage in life, they are more apt to need the money.
#3 – It’s Not Her Egg
As a woman ages, we know that her egg reservoir begins to diminish, additionally, the health of the egg also begins to wane and risks begin to rise.
However, when the use of a gestational surrogate is in place for your reproductive goals, these issues are obsolete. The surrogate is assessed to have a healthy uterus and be physically fit for pregnancy. In conjunction with her health status, her age is not of concern due to the fact that her eggs are not being used. In this situation, it matters about the health of the egg being used to create the embryo.
When age and health considerations are of concern, we encourage each parent to have their embryos genetically tested for chromosome and genetically related illnesses.
#4 – Trust the Professionals
No matter the age of the surrogate, each surrogate will be required to undergo medical and psychological testing from your IVF clinic to ensure she is suitable.
Starting with the surrogacy agency, her personal situation and medical history are evaluated.
At Made in the USA Surrogacy, we have each candidate’s medical records thoroughly reviewed by nurse midwives who provide a detailed report if they are a decent candidate for the job and include considerations of her age.
Additionally, each surrogate is required to be seen by her OBGYN for an updated pap smear and discuss her interests of becoming a surrogate with her Physician. At this time the Physician has a unique opportunity to discuss the risks of surrogacy and will evaluate the candidate and judge if she is equipped to become a surrogate.
The surrogate is required to obtain a letter from their Physician detailing their support and provide it for their surrogate file.
After a surrogate completes the screening process with Made in the USA Surrogacy, her file is then fully reviewed by the overseeing fertility clinic. They will conduct labs and an ultrasound. In addition to her physical assessment, the surrogate candidate will be required to undergo a psychological evaluation. There are many professionals assessing the surrogate candidate to ensure she is, in fact, a suitable carrier.
#5 – Look at the Whole Picture
We understand the knee-jerk reaction when selecting a surrogate who is in her mid-late thirties, however, we encourage you to look at the whole picture.
Often times you may find a suitable match for your family if you allow yourself to trust the professionals to fully screen the candidate and to consider the individual as a whole. We encourage you to look at the individual based on her pregnancy history, current health, lifestyle choices, and personality. If you still have concerns about the surrogate’s age be sure to discuss these fears with your surrogate agency and fertility clinic.