What to Avoid Before and During Your Surrogacy Journey

If you're preparing for a surrogacy journey — or you're already in one — you know that your body is doing important work. The choices you make about what you eat, how you move, and how you take care of yourself directly affect the pregnancy and the baby you're carrying.

Most of this will feel familiar if you've been pregnant before. You already know the basics. But surrogacy adds a few extra layers, especially during the medical preparation and embryo transfer phases, where your body needs to be in the best possible condition for the embryo to implant and thrive.

Here's a practical guide to what to avoid — and the reasoning behind each one.

Before You Apply: Building Healthy Habits Early

If you're still in the "thinking about surrogacy" phase, this is the time to set yourself up for success. The qualification process will evaluate your current health, so building strong habits now makes the application smoother and the journey better.

Tobacco and nicotine. Smoking, vaping, and all forms of nicotine need to be out of the picture — ideally for at least a year before you apply. Nicotine restricts blood flow, affects fetal development, and increases the risk of premature birth and low birth weight. Most IVF clinics will test for nicotine, and it's a firm disqualifier at most agencies. This includes secondhand smoke exposure in your household.

Recreational drugs. Any recreational drug use, including marijuana, needs to stop well before your application. Drug screening is part of the qualification process, and intended parents need to trust that the woman carrying their baby is committed to a healthy environment. Even in states where marijuana is legal, IVF clinics treat it the same as any other substance that can affect pregnancy.

Heavy alcohol consumption. You won't be able to drink during the surrogacy process — not during the medication protocol, not during pregnancy, and not during the recovery period. If you enjoy an occasional glass of wine, that's a temporary adjustment. But if alcohol is a significant part of your social life or coping habits, it's worth honestly evaluating whether you're comfortable abstaining for a year or more.

Diet and nutrition. This isn't about being perfect — it's about building a foundation. Eating well, staying hydrated, and maintaining a healthy weight before you apply means your body is ready for the demands of fertility medication and pregnancy. If your BMI is close to the threshold, this preparation period is a great time to focus on your health.

During Medical Preparation: Your Body Is Getting Ready

Once you've been matched and your legal agreements are in place, you'll start the hormone medication protocol that prepares your uterus for embryo transfer. This is a sensitive phase — your body is responding to estrogen and progesterone, your uterine lining is building, and the IVF clinic is monitoring everything closely.

During this phase, follow your clinic's instructions carefully. They may vary slightly from one clinic to another, but generally you should avoid anything that could interfere with the medication's effectiveness or your body's response.

After Embryo Transfer: The Most Careful Phase

The days and weeks immediately following embryo transfer are critical. The embryo is implanting in your uterine lining, and your body is adjusting to the pregnancy. Most IVF clinics will give you specific post-transfer instructions, which typically include the following.

Rest for the first 24–48 hours. This doesn't mean strict bed rest in most cases, but it does mean taking it easy. No heavy lifting, no intense workouts, no strenuous activity. Give your body the chance to do its work.

Avoid strenuous exercise. For the first few weeks after transfer, stick to gentle movement — walking is great, but hold off on running, heavy weightlifting, high-intensity workouts, or anything that puts significant strain on your core and lower body. Your clinic will tell you when it's safe to resume more vigorous activity.

Avoid sexual intercourse. Most clinics recommend abstaining from intercourse for at least two to four weeks after embryo transfer, and sometimes longer. This is partly about reducing physical strain during the implantation window and partly about avoiding any hormonal interference with the fertility medications.

Avoid hot tubs, saunas, and hot baths. Elevated body temperature can affect embryo implantation and early fetal development. Warm showers are fine — just avoid prolonged exposure to high heat during the first trimester.

Skip the sushi and deli meat. The same dietary guidelines that apply to any pregnancy apply here — avoid raw or undercooked fish, unpasteurized dairy, deli meats, and high-mercury fish. Your OB will give you a complete list, but you already know the drill from your own pregnancies.

Limit caffeine. Most OBs recommend keeping caffeine under 200mg per day during pregnancy — roughly one cup of coffee. It's not that you have to give it up entirely, but moderation matters.

Throughout Your Pregnancy: Common-Sense Care

Once you're past the early weeks and the pregnancy is established, your surrogacy pregnancy looks a lot like your own pregnancies did. The same guidelines apply: eat well, stay active at a comfortable level, get enough sleep, attend all your prenatal appointments, and follow your OB's advice.

A few surrogacy-specific reminders during this phase. Keep communication open with your intended parents and your agency. If something feels off — physically or emotionally — say something early rather than waiting. Take your prenatal vitamins consistently. And don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Carrying a baby while raising your own kids is a lot, and your agency is there to support you.

The Big Picture

None of this should scare you off. If you've had a healthy pregnancy before, you already know how to take care of yourself while growing a baby. The adjustments for surrogacy are mostly about being a little more intentional during the early phases — when the embryo is most vulnerable and the medical preparation requires your body to be in optimal condition.

The women who do this well aren't perfect. They're attentive, they follow their clinic's guidance, and they take the responsibility seriously. That's all anyone is asking.

Ready to start your journey? →