Things You Can Do to Help Your Surrogate with Her Pregnancy
For parents who are struggling with infertility, one of the best options left to them for a healthy pregnancy and child is to use a surrogate.
Surrogacy in California allows intended parents to have a biological baby of their own even if it’s being carried by another person. Yet it can be easy to put too much pressure on the surrogate.
To ensure that the process of surrogacy goes as smoothly and comfortably as possible, here are a few ways that you can help your surrogate through her pregnancy.
#1 – Understand Her Struggles
Surrogates go through a lot just to join a surrogate agency.
Once they’ve been matched with intended parents, they’re subject to even more. While you will also be receiving fertility treatments to help boost your fertility for IVF, they’ll be receiving fertility treatments, too. This requires a series of appointments that will take them away from their job, their family, and their spouse.
One way to support them is to acknowledge their efforts and sacrifices.
A few simple words may be all it takes for them to feel supported by you. It helps to understand her situation and empathize with her. Pregnancy isn’t easy. It takes a large toll on the body and changes the body’s biology.
Yet she’s doing this to help you have a baby. The very least that you can do to help her through the healthy pregnancy is to understand her plight, any mistakes she might make, and help her when she’s feeling low or exhausted.
#2 – Meet Deadlines
There’s a lot of paperwork that needs to be done before your surrogacy can begin.
It’s not as simple as searching for “surrogacy near me” and then immediately get started. Your parent profile has to be put together, and your wants for a surrogate mother have to be categorized properly for us to know who will make the best surrogate mother for you.
Once your surrogate mother is medically cleared, legal work has to be completed first to ensure that everyone is protected. That paperwork has deadlines. If you miss a deadline, then fertility treatments cannot proceed.
Since fertility treatments are scheduled around the surrogate’s cycle, it may cause a delay in up to a month. If those deadlines are missed again, even if just by a day, it could result in another month’s delay. Not only does this make you wait longer for the pregnancy to begin, but it also continues to put the surrogate’s life on hold.
She is sacrificing a good deal of her time to the process of surrogacy. It isn’t as simple as just nine months of a healthy pregnancy. The fertility treatments alone could take several months. The more delays there are, the longer she has to put her life on hold, and unfortunately, the more opportunity there is for other complications to come.
To ensure that doesn’t happen, make sure you know what your deadlines are and meet them. It will make your surrogacy proceed a lot faster and easier.
#3 – Increase Compensation
The base rate for compensation with our surrogate agency is $40,000.
While this may seem like a lot, it isn’t if you include the potential for the process to go on for two years. Add in the amount of strain, energy, and time commitments that the surrogate has given, and it’s really only a small amount. This amount exists to help make surrogacy more affordable for the intended parents. Made in the USA Surrogacy is well aware of other surrogate agencies located in California who’s base compensation rate for surrogates is $50,000 or more. If your surrogate mother chose to become a surrogate with our agency, most likely they are not in it for the money. But that does not mean that they are not worth more.
To show your appreciation for your surrogate, you can always increase the compensation that she receives. Whether it’s added to her benefits package or even just an overall increase through cash you give her, that added amount can really show her that you care for her and all of the work that she is doing to give you a healthy baby.
A lot of surrogates do this surrogacy out of the kindness of their own hearts.
Though our base compensation is set competitive among other agencies, we try to have the cost reasonable for surrogates to feel compensated for their pain and suffering along the way, but also being fair to intended parents. If you feel inclined to increase your surrogate’s base pay or bonus her at the end when you have your child- we are sure it will be most appreciated!
#4 – Take Her Out
No doubt thanks to being pregnant, your surrogate likely doesn’t go out that much.
Between taking care of your baby, taking care of her own children, and possibly working a full-time job, she likely doesn’t have much time to go out and enjoy life. You can provide an opportunity for her to do just that.
Take a look around at some of the events that are happening in your area. If you happen to know that your surrogate enjoys musicals, why not take her to a show? Or if there’s a food festival happening, then take her to the festival and enjoy spending time with her. Or when your surrogate comes in town for her screening to your fertility clinic – make sure to take her out to lunch or dinner.
Not only does this allow you to spend time with the baby, but it also shows her that you’re invested in her health and happiness and not just the health of the baby.
Getting out of her house and away from her job can give her the break that she needs. With better mental health, you can be sure that the rest of her health will remain positive, too.
#5 – Simply Check In
If you don’t happen to live close to your surrogate, spending time with her can be difficult.
It may be impossible for you to travel frequently to see her or for her travel to you. That doesn’t mean that you should stop checking in on her, however. Thanks to modern technology, staying in contact with your surrogate is easier than ever.
Whether it’s through Skype or a simple phone call, you can check in on her to see how she is fairing. Being pregnant can take its toll. Besides just being physically demanding, it can also be emotionally demanding. By lending an ear and some sympathy, you could be a necessary outlet for her.
This also benefits you because it allows you to stay up-to-date on the health and development of your baby. If there are any new stories about the baby kicking or moving or something else happening, the surrogate can tell you.
By simply checking in with her, you not only show her that you care, but you also can be a bit more involved with the baby’s development.
#6 – Ask
One last tip for parents to help their surrogate while she’s pregnant is to simply ask her what she needs.
You can try and guess and sometimes you might be right. However, no one knows what she needs more than she does. Have the courage to ask her if there’s anything you can do to make the process more comfortable for her.
She may have everything that she needs already, but the fact that you asked her can make her feel like you genuinely care about her safety and health. That can give a surrogate a lot of confidence and comfort. If she does require something, then you can satisfy those needs and make her all the happier.
A simple question can solve many problems.
Finding Your Surrogacy Agency and Surrogate
If you’re someone who wants to have a baby of their own but struggles with infertility, then start looking or a surrogate with our surrogacy agency in the Sacramento area. At Made in the USA Surrogacy, we strive to make the process simpler, easier, and stress-free for both parents and surrogates.
Contact us today to get started, so you can finally start your own family. Then utilize these methods above to support your surrogate.