Birth and Surrogacy Process General Considerations
Becoming a Surrogate – Birth and Surrogacy Process Considerations
Hello hopeful surrogate mothers in California and elsewhere in the US.
Today we will discuss the importance of having a birth plan and other considerations you may have when thinking about becoming a surrogate.
Obviously, when you have your own child, you may think it’s not very difficult to figure out how you will handle the birth of your baby.
Whether you will be at the hospital, or whether you may want a home birth with midwives. Perhaps you would rather be at the hospital to give birth, but your hospital also has access to midwives that will help you deliver your baby instead of the normal OBGYN.
These are some of the same considerations you will have when you consider becoming a surrogate mother.
Just because the baby is not genetically your own, does not mean that all of your wants and needs as a mother fly out the window.
So how is birthing a surrogate baby different and how is birthing the same as if you had your own baby?
Let’s look at a few considerations:
#1 – Because you will be birthing the child in your state, you will most likely use your own health plan access- or at least use facilities that are near you.
In a lot of ways, birthing a child can be a stressful prospect.
As a surrogate mother, you also will need to think of where you want to have the child (based on the health plan you have that we will discuss further) in relation to where you live- to make sure you have ample time to get to the hospital.
The last thing you want as a surrogate mother in California is to have to worry about where the hospital is, or have your partner worry about where to go in an emergency.
This is why as a surrogate agency, we work with all surrogate mothers to design a birth plan that will include the facilities located near where you live, and included in the health plan that we help place you in.
#2 – Because you are a surrogate mother, we will also have to consult with the intended parents on their wants and needs for the child before and after birth.
Having a surrogate child is much different than having your own child.
As a surrogate mother, you may or may not feel emotionally tied to the baby before birth. And it can be hard to understand that even though you have wants and needs of how the baby will be birthed, there is another party to consult with- the parents of the child.
Most likely, the Intended Parents will have specific needs of their own, or beliefs of their own when it comes to children that may not be the same as when you have your own child.
For example, will the baby be breastfed right after birth?
Will they want “skin to skin” with the baby and surrogate mother right after birth?
Typically, the intended parents decide if they wish to use the surrogate’s breast milk, and are the ones to have “skin to skin” time to begin bonding.
Will the parents wish to have their new child vaccinated with Hep B, or their baby circumcised if it’s a boy?
Will you as the surrogate wish to receive an epidural for pain?
Who are you comfortable having in the delivery room?
When parents have their own children, we often make these decisions “on the fly” or have thought about them long before hand whether we want it a certain way.
It’s important to keep these questions in mind with the surrogacy process that both parents and surrogate mothers have a say in how the birth process will go, and with Made in the USA Surrogacy we aim to help you create a birth plan for you and the intended parents.
#3 – During the surrogacy process, will you want to exercise?
Many mothers and health providers have different views on the amount of exercise that is healthy during a pregnancy. Some say it is fine to exercise while pregnant as long as you have been exercising before pregnancy and just to “take it easy”.
Though the doctors may think a certain way- again, we must consider how the parents think or feel about this topic.
Most parents will want a healthy pregnancy, and most of us at Made in the USA Surrogacy advocate for a healthy lifestyle in regards to our surrogate mothers, however, intended parents views on exercising during the pregnancy and close to birth will be a major consideration for most surrogate mothers to think about and make sure that all in the surrogacy process feel comfortable.
#4 – Will you be able to have massages and/or other pain-relieving medications before or during the birth?
Because we screen both the intended parents and the surrogate mothers before matching them together, we don’t anticipate too much of a disconnect between how the surrogate mother is able to relieve her pain or discomfort.
Most intended parents want the surrogate mother to be comfortable at all times. We have had instances where extreme back pain has been an issue for the surrogate, and before the surrogate mother signed a contract with the intended parents, she made sure they were OK with her doing regular massages for back pain relief and it was part of her compensation package.
Considerations such as these, related to a surrogate mother’s comfort are always valid in the surrogacy process.
Make sure to mention any concerns you may have as a surrogate mother related to any services you wish to have to maintain your comfort level and pain level during the surrogacy process and the birth of the child- we will do our best to maintain a healthy balance of communication to the intended parents about these wants and needs.
#5 – After you have the surrogate child, will you provide breastmilk for the baby or save the milk?
At Made in the USA Surrogacy we ask all parents beforehand whether they wish to have the surrogate mother provide breastmilk for the child once it is born, or how they wish the child to be fed.
This question will be directly related to each individual intended parent and their wants and needs for the child. Some have different believe systems on whether the child will have bonding issues, or whether the child should receive the nutrition from this age-old method of feeding and bonding with the child.
Make sure to check with your surrogate agency whether the intended parents have decided how the child will be fed after birth. Your compensation package will include payments of $250/week if the parents want the breast milk.
#6 – Just some items to consider when becoming a surrogate
Please keep these considerations in mind when considering about becoming a surrogate or if you are already a surrogate mother. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate with our agency, please fill out this form! We look forward to speaking with you about any further questions you may have about the process of becoming a surrogate and any questions related to a birth plan.