8 Facts Every Surrogate Should Know
Every surrogacy journey is as unique as the life it brings, just like you – the surrogate!
Hello Surrogate mothers or potential surrogates! This is a follow-up blog to our other post of “5 things you DON’T need to worry about.”
We wanted to provide a few blogs to explain the importance of your surrogate journey and the necessary topics or problems that you will need to worry about.
Made in the USA Surrogacy prides itself on completely handling your surrogate journey from top to bottom, answering your questions, and leading you through the process until you have a successful pregnancy.
It’s important to have a surrogate agency that truly focuses on surrogate support. You should not have to worry about many things in this journey- pregnancy is hard enough!
But that leaves the question – if surrogacy was so easy, then why doesn’t every mother give it a try? Because there is still a lot of things you need to worry about…
#1 – Medical Records and Screening
As a surrogate mother prospect, the first thing you must do is to prove that you’re capable of carrying a baby to full term for another family. Your surrogate agency has to go through a full review of your medical records and your personal background (hopefully they run a background check!!!).
After you fill out the application with your agency coordinator – the first task you will have at Made in the USA Surrogacy is to track down your pregnancy and delivery records for each of your pregnancies.
We specifically ask for your medical records, so we are able to review them to get a full history on how your body copes with pregnancy and birth.
#2 – Explaining your Motives and Maintaining Communication
Perhaps one of the most difficult parts of being a surrogate agency in California is having the ability to determine one’s motives. We at Made in the USA Surrogacy work very hard and ask the hard questions to get to the bottom of why you would like to become a surrogate. This is an important question as it determines your level of commitment to a prospective family.
It helps us understand what will drive you when times get tough or when it is hard to maintain your family life alongside being a surrogate. We also expect you to maintain a level of communication back to our inquiries- they will be many as you go through the surrogate screening process.
#3 – Giving Yourself Medication
Unfortunately, part of the process of being with child through surrogacy is that your body has to undergo a process to “trick” your body into preparing for an embryo transfer and then implanting. This involves the lining of the uterus thickening and other body changes that must take place to prepare your body for the process of growing a child. Because this process would normally take place naturally when having your own child – you wouldn’t normally be undergoing this process.
You will be expected to be on time with administering your medications as well as maintaining inventory on what medications will need to be re-ordered in time enough for you to take them without missing any days. Sometimes complications can occur where your body does not respond to the pregnancy medications- for this, we refer to your fertility clinic on whether medication doses should be adjusted, or whether medication should be altered to get a different result.
#4 – Making your Doctor’s Appointments
Part of the agreement that you will be required to uphold through your surrogacy contract is that you will make every doctor’s appointment or make your schedule available for appointments if you have to reschedule them. You do not want to be in breach of contract, so we encourage all surrogates to maintain their medical appointments as necessary for the health of the baby and knowledge for the team of people monitoring her progress.
#5 – Relocating Permanent Residence while in Contract
Possibly one of the worst mistakes a surrogate mother could make during her surrogacy agreement is moving residences. You will be placed under immediate breach of contract should your state of residence change, since laws that govern your surrogacy contract are set based upon the state you will be having the baby in.
Everything could be put in jeopardy if you moved – your health care provider (possibly the biggest upset), the emotional stability of the parents, compensation could be affected (depending on whether your contract is able to be continued) and you open yourself up to being sued by the parents. This is not a good idea- and it is expected that you remain in your residence state while pregnant with the surrogate baby.
#6 – Abstaining from Sexual Activites
While you are taking fertility medications until a fetal heartbeat or until recommended by a fertility doctor- you will be asked to abstain from sex with your partner. This may also be asked to continue into the pregnancy depending on the conditions of the child. We have had surrogate mothers told to abstain from sex until the baby was 12 weeks due to issues such as a hematoma that they found during ultrasound.
There may be multiple times you are asked to abstain from sexual activity – be that during the surrogate screening process after matching (as we nail down a time for transfer of the embryo) and into the pregnancy. Prepare yourself and your partner for this expectation.
It could be a short time or a long time it just depends on the progression of the pregnancy and doctor’s orders. At Made in the USA Surrogacy, we always ask for couples to use safe-sex procedures before being matched and be prepared to abstain once everyone is serious about signing a document. The last complication anyone needs- including you- is wondering whose baby is in there!
#7 – Adhering to Miscellaneous Contract Additions
It may not seem normal to you, but your intended parents may have a lot of “wants/additions” for your diet or regular daily patterns. Any of these requests will be agreed upon during your matching process and finalized in your surrogate contract with the parents. But after this is signed, it’s important for you to make sure that you adhere to the agreed terms.
If that means that you are asked and agreed not to eat pork or drink coffee (for example’s sake), that will mean that you must do as agreed. If it is found out that you are not adhering to these requirements, you may be in breach of contract depending on its severity.
#8 – Relaxing and Maintaining Healthy Stress Levels
Becoming a surrogate can be a very taxing and arduous process. It may be considered a full-time job or “second job” if you have one already. Not only that, but you will also be raising your family as you undergo this process. Maintaining your sanity and your low-stress level will be key to making sure you are successful.
We encourage every surrogate mother to get regular massages if her contract allows for this, and definitely keep getting your nails done! Whatever it is you do to de-stress, we want the baby and you to be healthy throughout the process!
Even though there are many things your surrogate agency in California will handle for you – being a surrogate mother requires an immense amount of commitment and follow-through. We thank all surrogates that choose to give back in this way!