5 Expectations of the Surrogacy Process for Parents
What to expect from the Surrogacy Process? An Intended Parents Point of View
Hello hopeful parents! If you have reached this blog, you are researching how to find a surrogate or you are currently looking for a surrogate. Our surrogacy blog is intended to help you along your journey to have a child by informing you of the process of surrogacy! We want you to know that Made in the USA Surrogacy is a resource for all of your questions about surrogacy and related topics. We know you’ve reached this blog because you are interested in finding a surrogate in California and starting the process of surrogacy as a means to start your family.
Because the process of surrogacy can be a difficult journey, Made in the USA Surrogacy wants to make sure you know the baseline expectations you should have for the surrogacy process when attempting to find a surrogate and have a child by surrogacy.
Here are 5 expectations every parent wanting a child should have about the surrogacy process:
#1 – Expect to spend a lot of time looking for a surrogate
We have gone over these topics multiple times in our other blog posts, but it’s helpful to revisit the main issue that most parents starting the process of surrogacy will have- time for finding a surrogate. In California, the demand for a surrogate in California is immense. There are multiple surrogate agencies in California, many surrogate agencies in Northern California, surrogate agencies in Sacramento, including ours (Made in the USA Surrogacy), and many surrogate agencies in Southern California. Most of these surrogate agencies are competing for the same surrogate prospects. This creates a bottleneck of surrogate prospects that are readily available, and the availability of your surrogate prospects will solely rely upon the demand that parents who do not have children yet have for these surrogates.
This is not to say that you will not enjoy the immediate return of hiring a surrogate agency in California and see a surrogate match right away- but we want to set the expectation that the available surrogates in California is at an all-time low. Not only is the demand high and the supply low of surrogate prospects, but the decision to become a surrogate is an extremely emotional and taxing process for a woman to undertake. It is a serious life decision- many women who come to us thinking they are interested will repeatedly re-think their decision if not completely abandon the idea when they find out how much time and commitment is involved in becoming a surrogate.
All this to say- we will find you a surrogate! It just may take more time than you may want or have prepared for originally. Take heart, we are screening surrogates every day, and working diligently to find you the most amazing surrogate prospect that you will ever meet!
#2 – Expect that not every surrogate will have surrogate friendly insurance
It’s important to remember that even though surrogacy has been around for quite some time, it is largely still an emerging practice. California surrogacy is on the forefront of the business, though there are other surrogate agencies in states other than California and surrogate friendly states that practice the business of surrogacy. Even with the presence of surrogate agencies in California and fertility clinics in California, with the state of this practice still being an emerging way for parents to have a child- the process of surrogacy is not always, and most likely will not be covered in a medical insurance policy. Some medical insurance companies mention surrogacy as an answer for infertility but will either outright state that they will not cover the surrogate pregnancy, or they will not mention that surrogacy pregnancy is covered. This means that your potential surrogate will most likely have to put in place a medical policy that is “surrogate friendly”.
So, what does this mean for you as a parent looking to have a child by surrogacy? It means that you should expect that you will incur the expense of a medical insurance policy that will cover the surrogate pregnancy. These policies could cost anywhere from $12,000-$30,000 on top of the surrogate base compensation and agency fee. Don’t let this fact deter you from looking for a surrogate or hiring a surrogate agency in California. Just know that every surrogate prospect that is offered to you as a match through our agency will have your budget in mind as a careful and thoughtful consideration. We want to set the expectation that medical policies will need to be a major consideration in your surrogacy budget, for the mere reason that most medical insurance places do not consider surrogate pregnancies as a covered part of their policy. Rest assured, we have health insurance professionals on hand that will help us navigate whether your surrogate will need a policy outside of her own, and we review every surrogate applicant’s insurance to ensure that it will or will not cover a surrogate pregnancy.
#3 – Expect that the surrogate you’re matched with could end up changing for a variety of reasons
Reason #1: The surrogate backs out
The surrogacy process for surrogates is notably hard and sacrificial decision for a mother to make. Every one of our surrogate prospects have their own life, they have children, and they must halt most of their own lives in order to make way for the process of surrogacy.
Becoming a surrogate requires their attention for weekly appointments, includes the pain and discomfort of pregnancy and a great sacrifice of time (having a surrogate pregnancy could take up to 18 months or more- sometimes up to 2 years working with our surrogate agency). With all of these considerations, many surrogate prospects will have second thoughts about starting.
Some of them back out of the process right before they are matched with a family. At Made in the USA Surrogacy this has been our experience with surrogates who fall off before pregnancy.
They will usually go through the arduous qualification process to become a surrogate with us before they realize that it is not something they can do. They realize that even though there is compensation involved, they will be required to sacrifice both their time and energy and are unable to give this yet, or ever towards the process of surrogacy.
We want you to expect as parents looking for a surrogate that even though we have surrogates screened and “ready”, they still may not be emotionally ready to handle this. We know that having a surrogate back out on you before or after matching can be devastating- but we want you to know that it is part of the process. If your surrogate backs out on her own volition, we want you to know that we do not charge you more to “re-match”- we will continue searching for the woman that will complete your family, and we are with you until the very end!
Reason #2: The surrogate becomes pregnant
This obviously will put a major hex in any planned surrogacy, but it may not be something that you have considered could actually happen. Keep in mind that your surrogate prospect is most likely married or at the very least sexually active with her partner and is not required by law of any kind to make sure that she refrains from sexual activity.
Being that the process of surrogacy in general can take a while to complete or get through multiple steps- the surrogate may forget or merely not be able to control the natural way of life that she is accustomed to prior to becoming a surrogate.
At Made in the USA Surrogacy, we inform all surrogate prospects of the need to abstain and use contraception at different times in the surrogacy process, but it does and will not always work to make sure she is not pregnant with her own child or children before she is matched, or even after she is matched with you.
We want you to expect that these types of issues can arise during your surrogate finding process, and it is all part of process. We know these things can happen, and it is why we are always constantly screening new surrogate candidates.
If this happens to you- we will make sure to promptly put you back into the process of finding a surrogate with our applicants.
Reason #3: The doctor could think the surrogate is not a great fit
Medically speaking, the surrogate mother’s body has to be prepared for the pregnancy before she is able to have a child. This process has to happen by way of medication since it is not naturally her child (gestational surrogacy).
The surrogate mother could negatively respond to these medications and as a result her uterus may not respond accordingly. This can negatively impact the process of having a surrogate child, so much so that the surrogate mother prospect may need to be changed.
Doctors also sometimes recommend a change of surrogate mother because she has had too many lost embryos. Failed transfers in surrogate mothers are the main cause of needing to find another surrogate, and this can be common.
Sometimes the medical professionals and your surrogate agency in California have no way to know how the surrogate’s body will respond with transferring during an IVF cycle. If there are many failed attempts, it probably means that we will need to start the process of looking for a surrogate over again.
By this paragraph- you’ll know, Made in the USA Surrogacy is well aware of these issues however we are unable to prevent them until they happen.
Keep your head up and know that we will continue looking for a surrogate for you and will be with you until we find the right one that results in a positive pregnancy and birth of a child!
#4 – Expect that the cost will exceed $100,000
For many of the reasons mentioned above, and many of our other blog posts and specifically our blog post on surrogate mother cost have mentioned- surrogacy is not a cheap process. Many factors such as the surrogate’s full-time job and her medical policy can have an effect on your overall surrogate budget.
We tell you to plan on at least $100,000 as a base cost, but many times the cost will exceed this naturally based on the two factors mentioned above- medical policy and if the surrogate mother is working or not. We don’t want to scare parents by telling them this, but we want you to expect that your costs can and mostly likely will exceed this number.
#5 – Expect that the surrogate process will take a number of months and even years to complete
We know that you’ve been wanting and waiting to have this child. We know that it’s been your dream to be a parent someday- and it is our dream for you as well! We know that by the time you are reading this blog about surrogacy, you either are in the process of hiring a surrogate mother or you are already in the process.
Expect that this process will take you a long time- sometimes up to 2 years to complete. Between the screening of your surrogate (finding a surrogate process after hiring the surrogate agency), the medical clearing of your surrogate the medications for the surrogate, the process of pregnancy for your surrogate- and any other hiccups that we have mentioned above (having to start the process of finding a surrogate over again)- expect that this process will be a marathon, not a sprint!
Whatever the length of your journey to have a child, we want you to know that we are here for you every step of the way. Made in the USA Surrogacy wants to be your go-to surrogacy source for information about surrogacy, the surrogate process, the surrogacy journey, hiring a surrogate, and leading you through the journey that will ultimately result in a wonderful child to call your own.
Please call us at 916-226-4342 or fill in this form to get started looking for a surrogate mother today!