Surrogate Mothers: 8 myths you need to know about becoming A surrogate
Hello hopeful surrogate mothers! If you’re reading this blog, you’re interested in some of the myths you may have heard about becoming a surrogate. We know the process of becoming a surrogate can be overwhelming and comes with a lot of questions and fears. You may have been researching becoming a surrogate on Facebook, or perhaps you have a friend who has been a surrogate mother or knows someone who has gone through the process. Most likely you may have come across some myths or thought processes that we will attempt to debunk for you as you consider becoming a surrogate mother.
Here are 8 myths you need to know about becoming a surrogate:
MYTH: “I will be matched with a family immediately”
It’s everyone’s goal to match parents with surrogate mothers as soon as possible- both the fertility clinic and the surrogate agency as well. We assure you we do everything possible to ensure a timely match- but the unfortunate truth is that the process of matching is a time consuming and involved process for both the surrogate mothers and the intended parents.
When we at Made in the USA are working on getting you qualified (please click this link for some more discussion on this topic), the process of becoming a surrogate will be as long as you take to get qualified. If you meet all of the qualifications, the best way to make sure that you find a family to match with quickly is to make sure that you finish your entire process of screening as fast as possible.
Even after you are done screening, depending on the types of parents we have that need a match and what they are looking for- you still may wait sometime before getting matched. We encourage all potential surrogate mothers to not believe this myth that some agencies may promise. There should be no promises made with regards to when you will be matched.
MYTH: “I will be compensated all in at once”
Though we all would love to be compensated in a bulk payment, the unfortunate truth is that the surrogacy process will only pay you based on when you are positively pregnant with the surrogate child. We know it’s helpful to know how you will be paid as a surrogate, or what your compensation package will be- but just know that payment does not come all at once, and it will be paid with monthly installments after there is a confirmed pregnancy.
MYTH: “I will not be able to have children after having a surrogate child”
This is a common myth that is, unfortunately, looming all over the internet and online forums like Facebook and other surrogacy blogs. Though there may be some science that IVF treatments and fertility drugs could affect a woman’s future pregnancies, the overwhelming truth about this myth is that it is false.
At Made in the USA Surrogacy, we know many surrogate mothers who have had surrogate children, and gone on to complete their family on their own. We know personal stories of women who have done this successfully without complication. If this myth were true, there would not be such a thing as an “experienced surrogate.” In other words, many surrogate mothers go on to have even more surrogate children without their fertility being affected by the fertility treatments they undergo.
We understand that the main concern with this myth is that surrogate mothers do not want their own family goals with number of children to be affected by the process of becoming a surrogate for another child. Rest assured, even the owner of Made in the USA Surrogacy in Roseville California has recently had her 2nd child after having her own surrogate child.
MYTH: “My intended parents will live near me”
Though we try to accommodate everyone’s wants and needs in this process, both the surrogate mother and the intended parents- some requests will act as unnecessary barriers to the process of matching with parents.
The request of surrogate mothers being close to matched parents could be affected by many different factors- including the availability of parents who have applied with our agency (we cannot choose the location they apply from) as well as whether the parents we have that are near the surrogate mother are really a good match for them.
We would rather that the surrogate mother be a good match with the parents rather than them be closer in proximity but not a good match (based on other factors).
We understand the want of close proximity to your intended parents can be a wonderful benefit to a relationship with the surrogate child. That’s why Made in the USA Surrogacy is committed to finding parents and surrogate mothers in California, San Francisco, Roseville and greater Sacramento.
It’s our goal as a surrogate agency in California to work with couples and individuals who struggle with infertility that are local to us. We love being a part of our local community and have already matched surrogate mothers in Sacramento with intended parents that are close to their home as well.
MYTH: “If I have certain medical conditions I am unable to become a surrogate” or- “I have to have a perfect medical history”
We understand how certain medical conditions can cause surrogate mothers to worry about whether they will qualify as a surrogate mother. We don’t want you to believe the myth that all surrogate mothers have to have absolutely perfect medical history.
We want every potential surrogate mother to know that we fully screen their medical history to see whether it is acceptable to the fertility clinic that will be doing the embryo transfer through the process of IVF.
We have had potential surrogate mothers who have previously had conditions such as oral herpes, group B strep, and perhaps a higher BMI than normal. Whatever your medical situation is, as long as you meet the surrogate qualifications on this list, there is a good chance that you may be accepted by the fertility clinic even if you have had previous issues with certain medical conditions.
MYTH: “If I have had miscarriages I will not be able to become a surrogate”
Even if it seems like having a miscarriage may be a disqualifying factor for becoming a surrogate mother in California, the overall conclusion on this is that the medical factors regarding this miscarriage will be evaluated to make a decision regarding your surrogate mother application. Just having a miscarriage will not automatically disqualify you from becoming a surrogate- however the number of miscarriages will be a factor in the surrogate mother qualification process.
MYTH: “I can become a surrogate if I am on government assistance”
The unfortunate truth to this myth is that the overwhelming majority of surrogate agencies in California and other states do not allow surrogate mothers to be on financial assistance of any kind. This is because we do not want the overwhelming reason for the surrogate mother’s motivation to become a surrogate to be because of financial reasons. Having someone else’s child should be purely motivated by a deep longing to help others (intended parents) through the process of surrogacy to realize the dream of having a child and starting a family. Most surrogate agencies believe that it can create a conflict of interest if the surrogate is on government assistance. Because there are different levels of financial assistance, if you are confused or have questions about whether your situation may apply to this circumstance, please contact us.
MYTH: “If I am not OK with selective reduction or abortion, I cannot become a surrogate mother”
The unfortunate truth about this myth is that many surrogate agencies in California and many of the larger surrogate agencies around will be very selective of their prospective surrogates with this question alone.
The myth is that if you do not believe in selective reduction or abortion- you will not be matched with a family. The truth is that Made in the USA Surrogacy does not qualify surrogates based on their beliefs in regards to this question.
We ask the question to further understand how they think about the issues of selective reduction and abortion- but we do not allow this question to become a disqualifier for prospective surrogates if they do not believe in these procedures. Unfortunately, many other surrogate agencies have spread this myth- that you are not able to become a surrogate (qualify) if you do not endorse these procedures.
The truth is that you are not able to become a surrogate with those specific surrogacy agencies.
We, however, do not disqualify candidates based on their beliefs of any kind
We believe that every surrogate who is medically qualified and mentally stable enough to have a child for our intended parents, should be given the chance to become a surrogate with Made in the USA Surrogacy. Please fill in this form if you are interested in becoming a surrogate with our agency, or if you were previously rejected as a surrogate for any reason from another surrogate agency in California. The truth is that you may be easily qualified and wanted by a like-minded prospective family who is waiting to match with you!