After your child is born through surrogacy- now what?
When you’re looking to become a surrogate or are interested in having a baby through a surrogate mother, you may feel especially nervous about parenting.
Will you feel the connection with your baby? Will the fact that it’s a surrogate baby impact your parenting style at all?
As a parent, you want to offer the best tools and lessons that you can to help your baby grow and develop to their best advantage.
This article will briefly talk about surrogacy and then delve into the different kind of styles that you may want to adopt in order to parent your surrogate baby.
If you’re looking how to become a surrogate or wish to have a surrogate mother carry your baby, then you’re likely curious about the process.
Perhaps you’ve even looked for a surrogate agency or typed in “surrogacy near me,” into your phone or computer. You’re curious.
You’ve taken the initial brave steps of achieving your dreams of being a parent. The surrogate process is considered to be an alternative reproductive technology.
It is a method used popularly by couples who are physically unable to have children or for those when pregnancy presents too much of a danger to themselves.
A surrogate agency such as Made in the USA Surrogacy can help you find a surrogate who is willing and able to carry your baby for you.
A search for “surrogacy near me” may have landed you on our page- if so, we are more than capable of helping you with your surrogacy journey!
Using our surrogate agency located in northern CA will quickly become one of the best decisions you have made. We have surrogate mothers in California that are ready and most likely surrogates near you.
Once you have chosen a surrogate mother through our surrogacy agency, and the child has been born, it’s then up to you to decide how to parent the child.
There are many different styles to consider:
#1 – SAHM
SAHM or Stay At Home Mom or Dad is a style that essentially involves one of the parents staying at home at all times.
This parent tends to the baby’s every need. For many families, the SAHM parent is ideal. This is because the parent is able to directly help their child learn. They can provide tutoring lessons even when they’re a baby or a toddler.
Because they’re home, they’re also able to cook for their child and ensure that they’re receiving all of the nutrients that they need to grow healthy.
It’s also a handy style for when the child grows older and needs to be taken to extracurricular activities after school.
The SAHM model showcases that being involved with your child’s life is vital. Not only does it help nurture that connection that you may be worried about when you look into how to become a surrogate family but it also keeps the child responsible.
You’re always right there to correct them if they do something wrong.
#2 – Day-Job
For many parents, the opportunity for one parent to stay at home may not be possible. Financial security requires both parents to work. If this is the case for your family, then you may want to consider the Day-Job model.
As its name might suggest, this style takes place when both parents have to work during the day. This can be an advantage, however, because it can teach your child the importance and value of hard work.
Because parents are busy at work, they often struggle with balancing life outside of work.
This, in turn, prompts them to teach their children how to help out around the house. Introducing chores early is never a bad thing either!
It keeps the child active and responsible. Perhaps even more importantly, because your child requires other supervision, it often means the child is placed in daycare. This allows the child to socialize with children their own age.
It hones their socialization skills and teaches them how to get along with others.
Daycare also allows their immune system to grow stronger. They’re subject to the germs that daycares typically accumulate. The sicker that children become early in life, the stronger their immune system will be when they’re older.
Although, as we can attest- this time in your life will not be fun…
#3 – Disciplinarian
Often times, one parent or the other will be the one who chooses or is volunteered to do the “disciplining.”
It’s important to remember that couples who value co-parenting, should both use their own styles of disciplining their child to achieve the best result!
Disciplining is a natural–and inevitable–part of being a parent.
After you find a surrogate who has your child and receive your child, you’re going to enjoy countless moments of pure bliss. However, there are also going to be times when you want to rip your own hair out because your child is acting out. In these cases, discipline is necessary.
However, it’s important to know how to discipline. One of the first aspects that you need to consider is what you, yourself, are comfortable with.
Discipline will take forms in many ways, and as your child grows, you will get better at anticipating which style of discipline helps your child do what they are supposed to, and again, achieve the best result.
Try many different styles in every given situation, and always make note of the style that actually works for your child.
Our 4-year-old is extremely people oriented- and therefore many times the mere separation from people in a “time-out” in his room achieves the desired attitude change.
There’s a lot of discussion on the merits and detriments of spanking. If this is a disciplinary action that makes you uncomfortable, then don’t use it.
Instead, focus on the concept of reward and punishment. This entire article could be written about the various ways in which you can discipline a child. Instead, the important aspect to know is that when you choose to discipline your child it needs to be when you are calm.
#4 – Creative Parenting
Another style to consider is creative.
Once you’ve gone through surrogacy in Sacramento and you have your baby, it’s a great time to let your creativity live to its max.
There are going to be moments where your child isn’t going to want to do something. Instead of choosing the disciplinarian model, you may choose the creative model instead. This model basically requires you to take a creative spin on things.
For example, if you give your child a specific chore, the creative parent tries to make that chore more exciting than it is. You can turn the chore into a game.
Perhaps even more important than that, the creative parent joins their child during playtime. You’re the one that dons the outfit and sits with them during tea time.
You’re outside actively engaging with them and their imagination as you play space explorers.
Creativity is extremely important for both children and adults! This model can help nourish it in both of you.
#5 – Structured
The final style for parents to consider is structured parenting. It certainly isn’t a bad idea to consider this model either.
All children need some form of structure in their lives.
Whether it’s doing the same activities during the morning before school, eating at the same time, or only watching TV at a certain time of the day or week. Kids and children thrive with structure and routines.
We have found that even putting our children to bed on time and in their own bed has helped everyone including parents to be more “sane”- because they recognize when they are tired at the same time every day, and the structured routine becomes a good habit.
Routines need to be developed, especially while your child is still a baby. This helps form a foundation for productivity that your child can rely on as they grow older.
You can become a structured parent by implementing set times for play time, nap time, and responsibility time. Yet it’s also important to remain flexible.
Too much structure can foster resentment. By finding a good balance of structure and flexibility, your child can be given the tools to build a productive life as they develop.
Choose What’s Best For You
The most important aspect of being a parent is choosing what style works for you. Which can you implement successfully? Experiment with these styles for maximum results!